The Choices We Make

Michelle Adams
 

 

“I = Intention”

Choosing means defining and declaring an intention.  Intention is your plan, what is it that you are aiming to do, to accomplish.  This declaration can be made to others, but more importantly it is made to ourselves.  When I say that I am going to honor my life and put myself first and part of doing that is eating heather – I am making that declaration to myself.  No one outside of me will ever know that I made that declaration to myself unless I tell them. Yet I know, and if I follow through with it I feel good about myself, and if I don’t then I beat myself up. 

Telling others of our intention may help us stay on track because it can make us “accountable” and help us push towards our goal.  Telling others may also be how we use our family and friends for support in reaching our goal.  Yet personally intention means to actively decide or to actively not decide.  For me when I am at the market and I pass by the donuts I say to myself “not today girl, you will not get them.”  And other times I walk by the donuts and I say “go back and get them because today you are eating them.”  In both instances, I set my intention.

Intention is a powerful step in choosing because it is internal.  It requires us to make a declaration to ourselves about what we want for ourselves, what we will do about it, and if we will share that information with anyone. 

“J = Job”

Choosing is a job because it takes work.  That work starts internally (with setting your intention) and then becomes external – the actions necessary to make the choice happen.  When a person chooses to go to school after the internal decision they then must do the external work, register and then attend.  When we decide to make changes in our life that internal decision now requires external work. 

The job we have to ourselves is just as important, if not more important than the jobs we attend to support ourselves financially.  Because our internal work is important to our quality of life.  How good it feels to do a good job – to know that we put in the work to accomplish what we set out to accomplish.  How successful we feel when we complete a job.  Yet the job of life – is on-going.  We reach accomplishments from the job along the way just as we have set-backs, and through it all we know that both are normal parts of life.  In the job of life and in our job of getting healthier we know there will be accomplishments and set-backs.  The most important thing we can do is to stay on the job…keep working because we are worth it and the greatest paycheck is our acceptance and love of ourselves.

“K = Key”

Choosing requires the key.  Key is defined as the clarification to an issue.  When we make a choice we use the key to define the issue, and to say how we will resolve it. When the doctor says that I need to drink more water for health of my kidneys I hear him.  That is his medical diagnosis which he gave to me.  Now I get to do my own work.  I decide if there is a problem and if so how will I resolve it.  I get to use my key to clarify and decide how to resolve the issue.  I may decide that my kidneys are fine and I am not going to follow his instructions, or I may decide to agree with him and set my “intention” to drink more water.

Just as a key in important to a door/lock in allowing entry – it is important to us in allowing us to decide what we will work on.  When making a choice in your life, remember to use your key because you alone get to decide what to open.  Use the key to determine what foods are best for you and what exercise is best.  Not everyone can go out and run five miles, just as not everyone can lift 25 lbs.  The key for my friend is probably not the same key for me.  Use your key and clarify what is best for you.
 

"L= Loss & Living"

Maybe one of the hardest parts of making a choice is knowing that in doing so we will lose something.  The very fact that there is a choice means that it's always an "either-or" situation.  When I choose to drink water I am losing soda or kool-aide.  When I choose to eat healthy I am losing my candy and chips.  When I choose to live a healthier lifestyle I am losing the behaviors I had while living unhealthy. 

It may sound like it's a no brainer....why wouldn't we choose to do something that is better for us?  Because loss is not easy, even if it is better for us.  Loss of something that you like and are accustomed to is hard.  Loss means work - work towards change and doing something different. 

But choosing also means "Living" we are living when we are actively making decisions and doing things in our lives.  We are not living by default - we are living by choice.  We choose to give up or lose something in order to gain something else.  We are living when we are engaging in our lives.  We are living when we say "Hey....I choose me because I love me"

"M= Mistakes"

Choosing opens us up to make mistakes.  A friend called me to say that she was afraid to make a decision in her life because she didn't trust herself.  She said she was afraid of making a mistake.  Life includes making mistakes.  We see mistakes as a bad thing because the consequences can be difficult, but mistakes are about learning.  An example is when I first went back to the gym I wanted to get in shape in one day.  Now as unrealistic as that is - in the moment I was focused.  I worked out my arms, my legs and did cardio.  The next day...and a few days to follow....I was beyond sore.  I think I actually sprung a muscle.  My mistake was trying to do too much too fast.

Mistakes open us up to criticism from others which can be uncomfortable, especially when we are talking about our weight and our unhealthy choices.  Who wants to hear "why are you eating that?  I thought you were trying to lose weight" or who wants to tell someone that something they tried they shouldn't have?  Mistakes.  Our goal is to remember that a mistake does not define us and mistakes are normal.  We all make them and as long as we live we will continue to make them. 
 

 "N= Nervous" 

You know that feeling when your stomach is uneasy?  You know when you don't know if you should go right or left and internally you are quivering?  You know....when you get nervous about making a choice?  That's what choosing can do to us.  It can make us nervous.  Partly because we are not guaranteed that we are "doing it right" or that we are making the "right" decision.  Choosing would be so much easier if we knew exactly how things would turn out right?  But we don't so we go through being nervous. My level of nervousness intensifies when it's a choice that either involves other people or that I know other people know about. 

I decided to start working out with a personal trainer.  I declared to my family that I was doing it - I was getting in shape.  When they heard the cost they said "wow, you are paying that to have someone watch you work out?"  I had a couple of friends say, "for that I will train you."  I was nervous about telling them my decision to workout with the trainer because it made me accountable to my choice, and I knew they would be watching me.  I was nervous about working out with the trainer.  I was nervous because I made a choice.  I've learned that it's ok to be nervous and it's ok to not know how things are going to turn out.  Why?   ... Wait until you see the letter "T".

Choosing = Ownership & Options

 

Do you remember the feeling you had when you got your first car, house, outfit you wanted badly, or anything that you wanted and you finally got it?  It’s a feeling of ownership or success – it’s yours.  That’s what choosing is – ownership.  I have gone to my freezer and gotten myself an ice cream sandwich and held it in my hand, knowing I shouldn’t eat it, with a feeling of “it’s mines”.  Ownership in choices means it’s yours.  Choosing to do things that do not support us in our healthy journey is just as important as choosing things that do support us.  At every given moment we have the ability to choose because we have options. 

 

Remember, we can become successful one choice at a time.

 
 

Choosing = Possibilities & Patience

 

The possibilities are endless and having choices puts us in line to reach for them or to create them.  Imagine that you are a chef and you can create amazing dishes made from vegetables.  You can mix asparagus with green peas, some red and yellow bell peppers, and a dash of lemon and have a meal that makes your taste buds sing.  Having endless possibilities allows you to mix and match whatever vegetables you choose to mix.  Imagine that you can walk the 1,655 steps of the Eiffel Tower or the 1,860 steps of the Empire State Building, that’s possibilities. 

 

Consider making yourself a vision board with things you want to achieve or obtain.  I have a board and one of the things on it is a picture of a woman in workout clothes with weights in her hand and she’s fit.  That’s my vision for me and what I want to achieve.  Seeing the picture reminds me that it’s possible.  And as I go through the process of the ups and down to reach my goal….I know that I must have patience.  This is not an overnight process it is a journey and the journey requires patience.

 

Choosing = Quest

 

Quest is defined as seeking after or pursing something.  My personal quest is healthiness and healthy habits.  I am not there yet which is why my choices are important.  When I am focused and disciplined I make choices that support me in my quest, but when I am not my choices take me away from my goals.  When you look at the possibilities of what you want to achieve or to obtain the next step is the quest – it’s seeking after what you have identified.

 

The pursuit takes work it’s about being active.  How can we pursue good health?  What is possible for our bodies when we stop drinking soda or eating sugary foods?  What can happen when we workout just 20-30 minutes a day?  These things are part of the quest when health is what we are pursuing.  

 

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