My name is Marti and I have a serious weight problem. I am what they call,
morbidly obese – 100 or more pounds above my ideal body weight. I want to
share my story.
I am a smart woman; I love life; I came from a loving family; I have lived a
relatively successful life; and I am a born again Christian. I’m not
bragging, but I know that God has blest me tremendously. Of course I’ve had
ups and downs, and have faced challenges in my life. But God has seen me
through; and for that, I am grateful. You may read this and think, “Wow!
She’s got it all together.” Sometimes things are not what they seem to be.
I am stuck in a dysfunctional relationship. I love food; and it loves me
back. At least that’s what I used to tell myself. It comforts me; it’s a
good companion on a lonely night; it gives me what I need, like
nourishment; and it satisfies me. But I’ve come to realize in recent years
that sometimes love hurts. I now understand that this relationship I have
with food, is hurting me.
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Spotlight
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I’ve finally stopped running away from myself. Who else is there
better to be?”
Golden Hawn
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I’ve thought a lot about where my unhealthy love for food started, and why
it is such a struggle to break these ties. I don’t remember a time in my
life when I was not overweight. I was always “the fat kid”. When I was
young, I was told I had to eat everything on my plate before I got something
to drink – usually overly sweetened kool aid. If I was sad or hurting, I
got a cookie or candy, and that made it all better. When I had a birthday
party, there was good food to eat and good times to be had. When I went to
the doctors and got a shot, there was always a lollipop given at the end of
the visit, to make the pain go away. Basically, I had been conditioned all
my life that food made any problem or situation better. And here began my
love affair.
I’m not writing this to blame anyone for my weight issues. I share
this because I believe it is important to know what caused the problem,
before I can truly deal with my problem and make a change. I must confess,
I struggle daily with my love for food and the illusion of its love for me.
Food has not loved me well. Being overweight has caused me serious health
issues, and still I struggle. But isn’t that the basis of every bad
relationship – you know you shouldn’t but you can’t resist. And after I’ve
consumed, I feel guilty.
I must confess, I am a lot healthier than I used to be. I’m on a lifetime
weight loss journey. I see food for what it is. That doesn’t mean I win the
battle each time, but I don’t lose each time either. The point of my
message is, in order for my weight loss and your weight loss to be
successful we have to know where the problem started. When did you feel the
first pain, and used food to get you through? In other words, when did your
unhealthy relationship with food begin?
Be brave enough to be honest with yourself. As with any bad relationship,
if your love for food is hurting you, you need to end it. Consult with your
physician and make some changes. See your situation for what it is –
unhealthy; maybe to the point of killing you. Ask God for the strength you
need to correct your course and to live healthy. YOU CAN BE FREE!
